Relationship Advice for Love after Trauma
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Our traumas got the best of us. How do I break the cycle?
I am in the middle of going through a breakup with my one-year-old baby’s father. We got pregnant right away after dating for a couple of months and decided to have our baby. It has been a very tumultuous relationship, as we both have our fair share of trauma. I felt there was genuine love and care for one another, but our traumas got the best of us. I do want to have a healthy relationship with a man and show my son what a healthy relationship looks like. Still, I’m also terrified to get into another toxic relationship.
He’s a black-and-white thinker. I see the gray. How do we talk?
I want to improve my communication skills. I can't seem to communicate with my husband. I think I need help in fully listening to him and then answering him directly. He likes short, accurate answers: “yes” or “no.” His thinking is black and white and I am more of a gray thinker.
I want to be a better listener—but I can’t stop interrupting my partner!
I have a habit of listening and interrupting my spouse when she talks, because I feel the need to respond to something she said. How can I move away from this behavior? I know it’s not fair to her.
After 15 years of gaslighting, how can I be sure I wasn’t the problem?
I’ve learned I was gaslit for 15+ years in my marriage before I left. I was always the problem. Now that I’ve left, how do I know that I’m not that person? I know my heart is good and true, but what if she was right? I’m having trouble believing myself—am I actually good or just acting good?
Why won't my partner take emotional responsibility in our relationship?
I’m very much aware of my flaws and shortcomings. How do I convince my spouse or help them realize they also have issues to work through?
I grew up with constant fighting. Now I shut down during conflict. How can I work through this?
Growing up with parents fighting constantly has affected me in so many ways. Now, I have the tendency to shut down in difficult conversations. I withdraw into myself and just freeze up. My head goes blank, and it's difficult for me to focus on the conversation at hand. What are some effective ways to work through this?
My spouse and I both have past trauma and poor communication skills. Can we get better together?
If both you and your spouse have past trauma and poor communication skills, is it possible to heal together and learn how to have a better relationship? What if one spouse is more receptive to the journey than the other?
How do I foster growth in my relationship without my partner’s help?
How do I foster growth in a relationship when the other person is unwilling to put the necessary time aside weekly to communicate openly. I admittedly get flustered easily and raise my voice unintentionally. I think it’s because I feel that I’m not being heard every time I ask to talk about things going on.
How do I stop being so defensive in my relationship?
What can I do to stop falling into defense mode when my partners raises issues he has with me?
How do I let go of the hurt from being treated badly by someone I loved?
How do you release the grief and hurt of being treated badly by someone you cared for deeply?
How do I get over trust issues and stop ruining my relationships?
I demolished a beautiful relationship with accusations I knew were far from true. I couldn’t accept that my intuition had been hindered by my paranoia. But why do I still feel the same feelings and think the same thought, even though I know they’re wrong?
I have complex trauma from childhood. How do I Learn to love myself?
I have complex trauma. How do I nurture myself when I don't remember when the last time I've ever felt nurtured? I've been divorced after a long term codependent relationship and I’ve realized I have never even known myself.
Why do people ghost after intimacy or conflict in relationships?
Why do men ghost women when conflict arises and/or after intimacy?
My partner became someone I didn’t even recognize. How do I learn to trust again?
I recently ended an eight year relationship. One month after our break up, in which he showed no reaction to, he showed up out of the blue to confess he had had affairs, plural, throughout our relationship. How is it possible to move forward at this stage in life, and trust someone new, after the person I chose to be with and loved became someone I didn't recognize before my eyes? It's hard to even trust myself now.
How do I heal while I’m in a toxic relationship?
I know that healing and having your own self worth should be something you do regardless of marital status, and I'm nearly certain divorce is the only choice. I can't figure out how to heal WHILE still married to someone who caused me so much pain (grooming, cheating, manipulation, addiction). How can I heal while still being in a toxic relationship?
My partner wants to separate. How do I save my marriage?
I am recently going through a separation because of issues I was causing in our relationship that I was not aware of. I am just heartbroken that I was unknowingly hurting the person I loved. I'm trying to do whatever it takes to regain her trust. How do I get her back and become a better partner?
My wife doesn’t get along with my family which makes holidays stressful
My wife doesn’t get along with my mother and sister which make holiday gatherings stressful for everyone, especially because it’s usually just the four of us. My wife complains that my mother and sister are rude to her and I see that does happen. I’ve told her that’s just how they are. They can be difficult but it’s a lot easier if you know how to manage them which is what I do.
I can’t seem to move on from my vulnerable narcissist partner.
I can't seem to move on after an 11 year textbook toxic relationship with a vulnerable narcissist. It's been 9 months. I'm dating someone else who is great. But the narcissist occupies much more of my brain than I'd like.
How do I stop attracting unhealthy partners?
How do you establish healthy relationships and attract healthy people? I find myself always attracting the wrong, unhealthy type and I'm sure self-confidence, fear comes into play.
Can I have a healthy relationship when I have unhealed trauma?
I fell in love after leaving an abusive relationship and it was the happiest either of us had ever been. Unfortunately, I still had a lot to heal from.
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WE’re not born knowing how to communicate in relationships.
For many of us, we missed out on learning healthy communication skills during childhood. Instead of learning how to communicate in ways that allow both people to feel seen, heard, and understood, often we learn patterns of communication that create confusion, hurt, and disconnection. Or we learn that it’s safer to just keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves … and not communicate.
The secret to fulfilling relationships is learning how to connect with another person through communication. You can start learning the art of communication with our free communication class, The Communication Cure.
