Relationship Advice for Love after Trauma
Ask Angela is a relationship advice column and podcast exploring the challenges of love after trauma and offering guidance for creating healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
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My partner became someone I didn’t even recognize. How do I learn to trust again?
I recently ended an eight year relationship. One month after our break up, in which he showed no reaction to, he showed up out of the blue to confess he had had affairs, plural, throughout our relationship. How is it possible to move forward at this stage in life, and trust someone new, after the person I chose to be with and loved became someone I didn't recognize before my eyes? It's hard to even trust myself now.
How do I heal while I’m in a toxic relationship?
I know that healing and having your own self worth should be something you do regardless of marital status, and I'm nearly certain divorce is the only choice. I can't figure out how to heal WHILE still married to someone who caused me so much pain (grooming, cheating, manipulation, addiction). How can I heal while still being in a toxic relationship?
My wife doesn’t get along with my family which makes holidays stressful
My wife doesn’t get along with my mother and sister which make holiday gatherings stressful for everyone, especially because it’s usually just the four of us. My wife complains that my mother and sister are rude to her and I see that does happen. I’ve told her that’s just how they are. They can be difficult but it’s a lot easier if you know how to manage them which is what I do.
I can’t seem to move on from my vulnerable narcissist partner.
I can't seem to move on after an 11 year textbook toxic relationship with a vulnerable narcissist. It's been 9 months. I'm dating someone else who is great. But the narcissist occupies much more of my brain than I'd like.
How do I stop attracting unhealthy partners?
How do you establish healthy relationships and attract healthy people? I find myself always attracting the wrong, unhealthy type and I'm sure self-confidence, fear comes into play.
Can I have a healthy relationship when I have unhealed trauma?
I fell in love after leaving an abusive relationship and it was the happiest either of us had ever been. Unfortunately, I still had a lot to heal from.
about us
We help those with painful childhood experiences heal their relationship with themselves, deepen their connection with others, and learn the skills for having fulfilling relationships.
We created the Five Relationship Archetypes and the Relationship Yes! Test to help people better understand themselves and their patterns in relationships.
Our work also includes the Ask Angela relationship advice column and podcast, as well as the Alchemy of Connection podcast.
We founded the Institute for Trauma Informed Relationships where we offer certification and consultation provide therapists and coaches in trauma informed relationship counseling.
Angela Amias, LCSW
Fulfilling relationships are an essential part of living a good life. Yet, many of us (perhaps even most of us) have core wounds from childhood experiences that affect our ability to have the kinds of intimate relationships in adulthood that we long to have.
As a licensed therapist, I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals and couples to help them heal past trauma and create more meaningful, satisfying relationships with themselves and with intimate partners.
Alongside Daniel, I developed the Five Relationship Archetypes as a model that reflects the different ways that childhood relationship trauma impacts our adult relationships.
This model takes into account our unique and inborn temperaments as well as the kinds of messages we internalize during childhood — about ourselves and how we need to be in order to have relationships with others. And, more importantly, it lays out a path toward healing, by first helping you reconnect with the parts of yourself that you lost along the way … parts that weren’t accepted or safe to express when you were growing up.
It’s my belief that difficult experiences break us open to become more of who we are meant to be.
As a trauma survivor myself, and as a therapist, I’ve made it my mission to walk alongside others as you find your path toward healing and discovering a life of more meaning and joy.
I’ve been featured in a range of publications, including Today, Oprah, Cosmopolitan, Well + Good, The Independent, Salon, Inc., Forbes, Toronto Sun, Women’s Health, and Refinery29.
Daniel Boscaljon, PHD
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
It’s also true that your connections with others can never be better than your relationship with yourself, which is why healing painful or traumatic experiences from childhood is such a vital part of having meaningful, satisfying relationships in adulthood.
My own personal search for how to cultivate a meaningful life came after years of feeling disconnected from others and from myself.
Though I entered graduate school focused on the intellectual aspects of earning a PhD in Religious Studies (and then another one in English), I discovered along the way how to use what I learned to repair the inner fractures of my own life.
As I reconnected with myself, I found that I was better able to connect with others as well.
With over twenty years of experience working with individuals, I focus on translating theories of love into practical guidance that helps you create meaningful, fulfilling relationships.
I’ve presented internationally on the topics of love and intimacy, and have been interviewed in publications including NBC News, Newsweek, Harper’s Bazaar, MindBodyGreen, Forbes, Salon, FastCompany, Business Insider, and Verywell Mind.
