How to Love Yourself Again After a Toxic Relationship Ends
Healthy relationships have the ability to encourage self love and a positive relationship with yourself. But when you’ve lived through a toxic relationship, you also know the dark side of relationships, which is that they can also be terribly destructive to your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Learning to love yourself just as you are is a vital part of healing after a breakup, especially when the relationship was toxic or abusive. Healing after a toxic relationship begins with healing your relationship with yourself and rediscovering your innate self-worth.
Relationship Advice for Love after Trauma
Read our advice column on building better relationships, healing past trauma, and deepening connections with yourself and others after painful past experiences.
What’s Your Relationship Archetype?
Take the Five Relationship Archetypes quiz and find out how to use your unique gifts to create deeper, more satisfying relationships.
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WE’re not born knowing how to communicate in relationships.
For many of us, we missed out on learning healthy communication skills during childhood. Instead of learning how to communicate in ways that allow both people to feel seen, heard, and understood, often we learn patterns of communication that create confusion, hurt, and disconnection. Or we learn that it’s safer to just keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves … and not communicate.
The secret to fulfilling relationships is learning how to connect with another person through communication. You can start learning the art of communication with our free communication class, The Communication Cure.
about us
We help those with painful childhood experiences to heal your relationship with yourself, deeply connect with others, and learn the skills for having fulfilling relationships.
We’re the creators of the Five Relationship Archetypes. We’re also the hosts of the Alchemy of Connection podcast and the creators of the Relationship Yes! Test.
We founded the Institute for Trauma Informed Relationships to provide certification and consultation to therapists and coaches in Trauma Informed Relationship Counseling for Individuals and Couples.
Angela Amias, LCSW
Fulfilling relationships are an essential part of living a good life and yet, many of us (perhaps even most of us) have core wounds from childhood experiences that affect our ability to have the kinds of intimate relationships in adulthood that we long to have. As a licensed therapist, I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals and couples to help them heal past trauma and create more meaningful, satisfying relationships with themselves and with intimate partners.
Alongside Daniel, I developed the Five Relationship Archetypes as a model that reflects the different ways that childhood relationship trauma impacts our adult relationships. This model takes into account our unique and inborn temperaments as well as the kinds of messages we internalize during childhood—about ourselves and how we need to be in order to have relationships with others. And, more importantly, it lays out a path toward healing, by first helping you reconnect with the parts of yourself that you lost along the way … parts that weren’t accepted or safe to express when you were growing up.
It’s my belief that difficult experiences break us open to become more of who we are meant to be. As a trauma survivor myself, and as a therapist, I’ve made it my mission to walk alongside others as you find your path toward healing and discovering a life of more meaning and joy.
I’ve been a featured relationship expert in many publications, including Today, Oprah, Cosmopolitan, Well + Good, The Independent, Salon, Inc., Forbes, Toronto Sun, Women’s Health, Refinery29, and many others.
You can read my full bio HERE.
Daniel Boscaljon, PHD
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. It’s also true that your connections with others can never be better than your relationship with yourself, which is why healing painful or traumatic experiences from childhood is such a vital part of having meaningful, satisfying relationships in adulthood.
My own personal search for how to cultivate a meaningful life came after years of feeling disconnected from others and from myself. Though I entered graduate school focused on the intellectual aspects of earning a PhD in Religious Studies (and then another one in English), I discovered along the way how to use what I learned to repair the inner fractures of my own life. As I reconnected with myself, I found that I was better able to connect with others as well.
As an award-winning teacher with over twenty year of experience working with individuals and couples, my mission is to translate theories of love into practical guidance that helps you create meaningful, fulfilling relationships. I’ve presented internationally on the topics of love and intimacy.
As a relationship expert, I’ve been featured in many publications, including NBC News, Newsweek, Harper’s Bazaar, MindBodyGreen, Forbes, Salon, Fast Company, Business Insider, Fatherly, and AskMen.
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moving in together?
We’re frequently asked for guidance and advice related to successfully navigating making the jump from dating to moving in together. This is a big milestone in relationships and it comes with lots of unexpected challenges amidst the excitement. You can read some of our expert guidance in ApartmentGuide’s Tips for Moving In Together for a Happy Home.